Abolishing Babies, or, The Coldest April Fools’ Day Joke Ever.

So this Tuesday at school, Lee and I get text messages at the same time from our Chinese friend B-Rock that read:

“Hey C, do u know any good hospital and harden doctor for abolishing babies? Maybe ur workmates know it, so check it out with them, please…”

After replying “…what!?” we recieved another, saying:

“I mean aborticide. do you know any good place for it?”

Well, needless to say, we were a little freaked out. Had B-Rock knocked up a girl? Wait, he was having sex?! An equally stunning thought. Also, how the hell would we know anything about abortion places in China? A few minutes later however, we received a text wishing us a Happy April 1st with a smiley face. Damn B-Rock and his knowledge of foolish American culture. Sigh.

On the subject of abolishing babies, or rather, not having to, I ventured out today finally in search of the elusive pill. I found it wasn’t so elusive. In China one can get the pill over the counter. Actually, they were sitting right on the counter, like any other impulse buy, like a Hershey bar or some Listerine mouth strips. At first, I asked for what I thought was birth control, but it was actually the morning after pill, in a little box next to the birth control pills. I opened up the box and looked at it, this little life changing pill. You little devil, I thought; you are the cause of so much controversy in the states, and here you are in my hand, tempting me to have casual, unprotected sex. Back you go.

I was then shown the entire range, from the 8 kwai thrifty-person’s birth control, to the top of the line 50 kwai “goodest” ones. I went with goodest. Simple. No doctors fees, examinations, waiting for pills to be made, etc. It was suspiciously easy. It made me think of my experiences with the pill in America, and how I wished it could be simpler.

Undoubtedly, what America lacks in its birth control availability, it makes up in those abstract things we all take for granted like freedom of speech, freedom of religion, democracy, etc. It’s still not a tough choice if one could live in either China or America. It is for me though, apparently. I wish it were a choice Chinese people could make, but alas, their visa process for America or Europe is so ridiculously difficult it hurts the brain to even try. The Chinese government doesn’t want to start opening the door for the Chinese to leave because in all reality, why would they ever come back? China tries to fool the Chinese that their country is so immense that there is no need to go anywhere else; everything you would ever want is here, every kind of landscape, oceans, lakes, etc. But oh, China. There is so much that is not Chinese in this world. To see it, to see it all… is a dangerous thing indeed.

And that is all for now.

Love,

Coco